This book was splendid. I'd been looking for over two years now for a book about parenting identical twins, and this is the best I've found so far, even though that's not its aim. Most books about twins seem to assume that you have fraternals probably because they're the most common , and while they can be helpful in teaching you logistics e.
They This book was splendid. They all say: make sure you treat them as two separate people. To which all of us parents of identical twins say: well, duh. Thanks a lot, Captain Obvious.
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This book helped answer my questions just by exploring the question, "What does it mean to be an identical twin? A relationship that's as strong as the parent-child or husband-wife relationship, and that can be just as good or just as detrimental as those two types of relationships can be, depending on how it's approached. It was good to be confirmed in my suspicion that having an identical twin could be a great treasure for my two youngest daughters, and also good to be reminded that there were pitfalls to watch out for as well. It's an extra relationship, a rare one, one most people don't have.
View 2 comments. Feb 25, Christine rated it liked it. As a mom to one-year-old identical twin girls, I was excited to find a book by an identical twin about the twin experience. I found the book an engaging read and filled with interesting perspectives from a variety of twins. I came away feeling that I had gained some valuable insight that will hopefully help me be a better parent to my girls.
That said, I think this was one of the most depressing books I have ever read. The book starts off great, and covers exactly the topics I was interested in. Then we get to the part about parenting twins, which I was obviously very interested in. But contrary to my experience, she painted what seemed to me to be an unreasonably dire picture.
She rightfully talks about the risks of a twin pregnancy and the ethical issues with IVF. But she doesn't give enough credit to major clinics that are strongly dedicated to avoiding multiple births including ours, though identical twins are somewhat harder to avoid.
She also talks about the challenges of raising twins in the first few years, which I agree are many. However, all the parents she interviewed were desperate and miserable, which just doesn't match my and many other twin parent experiences that I know of. She did mention quickly that her own mother had an easy time of it, and I think to be more realistic she could have included more positive stories and tips from the first few years.
Where the book really upset me was in the latter half, which was filled with one depressing story after another. The stories about the death of a twin were horrible but undoubtedly appropriate for this book. But then that was followed with a chapter about twins who each lost a child to Tay-Sachs. While this was a touching and engaging story, it was so improbable and irrelevant to most twin experiences.
I quickly moved on to the next chapter, hoping the book would pick up and work on a happy ending. No such luck. I mean, again, touching and engaging. But so unbearably depressing. In conclusion, this is a well-written, well-researched, and engaging book.
But the reader should be warned that half of the book is devoted to extremely depressing subject matter that isn't really that central to the twin experience. Mar 27, Denise rated it liked it.
I was drawn to this book because like so many other mothers of twins,I am constantly on the prowl for advice on raising twins. Having been blessed 16 years ago with 2 beautiful girls, I can relate to so many of the stories shared in this book. The author, Abigail Pogrebin, is herself a twin, close to my age. The book includes interviews with mothers of twins and twins themselves.
I found the stories of twin talk, marriage, and the need to individualize so interesting. It turns out that for so man I was drawn to this book because like so many other mothers of twins,I am constantly on the prowl for advice on raising twins. It turns out that for so many of the twins interviewed at the annual Twinsburg Twins Convention there are common traits that apply to so many sets.
I was fascinated to learn that so many twin marriages fail because there are really 3 people in the marriage--the spouse and the other twin. Other fascinating aspects of the book include the nature versus nurture component of who we are. As a believer of nature trumping nurture, I was glad to see that my views appear to be validated by Pogrebin.
Twins raised apart seem to share so many similar traits, likes, career preferences, etc. I did find it interesting to learn that many twins do not feel a seamless bond between themself and their twin, but rather feel compelled to force an unnatural bond. Others can finish each other's sentences and feel a symbiotic type of connection. Somewhat depressing were stories of twins who face adversity and twin loss.
In particular is one set of twins who each fathers children with Tay Sachs disease. While they find solace in comforting each other and walking the journey together, their story is tragic. Another set of twins recounts their Nazi Auschwitz experience. The graphic descriptions left me saddened and nauseated. Unfortunately, these stories are told to us at the end of the book and cast a sad tone accross an otherwise interesting and insightful book. I still don't have all the answers to raising twins, but it is nice to know that I am not alone in the triumphs and doubts I encounter in my journey as a mother of twins.
View 1 comment. May 25, Nancy rated it really liked it. Abigail Pogrebin tricked me! I like sociology, too. Oh, twins are so, so interesting. I love twins! Turns out, everyone else does too! Except, sometimes, their twins Pogrebin has written a fascinating book about the inner lives of twins; she interviewed loving pairs, hating pairs, pairs "My life as an identical twin and what I've learned about everyone's struggle to be singular": Doesn't that sound like a memoir?
Except, sometimes, their twins Pogrebin has written a fascinating book about the inner lives of twins; she interviewed loving pairs, hating pairs, pairs with genetic diseases dude, SO SAD , and her own family - especially her more private twin, Robin. The relationship of Abigail to Robin - not quite the same as the relationship of Robin to Abigail - is the heart and foundation of the book, though it only occupies perhaps a fourth of the content.
I was particularly interested by the examination of marriage among identical twins; the concept that the intimacy of being deeply known is something that twins have had all along, and may not really be seeking in marriage, was a new idea for me. Oddly disturbing too, but it made a lot of sense. I had a strong impression perhaps she even said so that Pogrebin was hoping to resolve the somewhat strained relationship with her own twin through the writing of this book - and I was left, at the end, with the same rather sad feeling that came through at the beginning.
But still, a lovely book which left me thinking hard about what seems a universal desire for someone who is, if not a twin, is somehow like a twin.
Leadership and Management Are One and the Same.
Jun 03, C. I am not a twin, and there are none in my family, but I have always been curious about them. I found this book really fascinating to read, and very well written. I especially liked all the personal accounts given by the many twins. I was surprised by the many downsides to being and having a twin,but also charmed by the benefits. I would consider this book essential reading for those expecting twins, or new parents of twins. There are many good tips, such as making sure each parent spends some 'a I am not a twin, and there are none in my family, but I have always been curious about them.
There are many good tips, such as making sure each parent spends some 'alone time' with each twin, as Robin grew up resenting that her parents never did that with her and Abby, so it was partial cause to her problem of never feeling like a separate whole person, and that is sad. There are really a lot of excellent insights in this book about what it is like being a twin, and how to parent twins.
I just know I am so thankful that I wasn't born one, nor gave birth to any! Jun 03, Leslie rated it really liked it Shelves: dark-non-fiction. This book helped me understand and articulate the bond of identical twins, the challenges they face in life, and ways to embrace that bond or encourage autonomy. Feb 09, Nicole rated it it was ok.
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The biggest problem with this book is the author cannot decide if it is a memoir about her and her twin sister or a scholarly look at the subject of twins. She see-saws back and forth between "Robin and I" stories and objective reporting. Further, she admits that she started her research by simply asking friends and neighbors to suggest twins to interview. As such, most of her subjects and many of her experts are Ivy-League-educated, wealthy, Jewish Manhattanites, a pretty select group to base The biggest problem with this book is the author cannot decide if it is a memoir about her and her twin sister or a scholarly look at the subject of twins.
As such, most of her subjects and many of her experts are Ivy-League-educated, wealthy, Jewish Manhattanites, a pretty select group to base generalizations about "everyone's struggle to be singular". I'm a twin of course, right? Who else is going to read a book about twins besides twins and, maybe, their parents? My hunch is that Pogrebin focused on these unusual twins because their extreme identification with their siblings makes for a "better" book. I was frustrated with Pogrebin's chapters on separation and twins reared apart. At times, she reports that separated twins are more alike than those raised together, then she states that, no, they are as alike as those raised together.
Either way, she doesn't say in what ways they are alike or more alike. Are we talking the twins reared apart share coincidental eating preferences both Joe and John love Chinese food, but hate Mexican! Pogregin doesn't specify. The book isn't completely without merit.
The chapters about the Lord brothers, whose bond helped them endure tragedy, and sisters Pearl and Helen, eighty-six-year-old Auschwitz survivors who were used in Menegele's twin studies, show how much twins can depend on and support each other. Save time and just read those chapters Oct 21, Susie Chocolate rated it really liked it. If you are a twin, are a parent of twin or have twins in your family siblings , this is a great book to read to understand the phenomenon of the complex twin relationship. Granted, the author is herself an identical twin and she sets about understanding this intense bond between her and her sister through the prism of her own twinship.
Her and her sister were always intensely close and in their adult lives, though they both live in Manhattan, are both writers and see each other regularly and co If you are a twin, are a parent of twin or have twins in your family siblings , this is a great book to read to understand the phenomenon of the complex twin relationship. Her and her sister were always intensely close and in their adult lives, though they both live in Manhattan, are both writers and see each other regularly and communicate daily, the intimacy they had when they were younger is now gone and the author mourns that but her sister doesn't and is the one that has struck out more on her own to seek out and stamp out her own identity.
The intensity of the twin relationship is something that I can understand very clearly since not only am I twin myself albeit a fraternal twin which is very different than identical twins but I am now the mother of fraternal twin girls, so this relationship is now more fascinating to me than ever. I now see so clearly why my twin and I are so very close, not only did we share a womb, but then we shared a room and everything else after that until we were in high school.
I see my own twin girls sit on the couch and when they do, they always sit right next to each other with their shoulders touching. Their physical closeness is something that starts so young and continues through adult hood but there are so many interesting tid bits I got from this book since the author interviewed hundreds of sets of twins to dissect their relationships in order to understand this bond more clearly and things like separating twins earlier in their lives in school and in social relationships rang so true for me and my own experience and the mistake in letting others compare the twins and try to "label them" was so interesting for me.
Jan 30, Anne rated it really liked it. The world is fascinated with, if not a little creeped out by identical twins. When I found out that our twin girls were identical, I admit I had a little bit of a panic attack. On the one hand, it seemed like such a special bond - I hoped and still do that they will forever have a connection that only they can understand. But, on the other hand, I wanted to be sure that they developed a world outside themselves.
One and the Same Letter - Fidelity
I wondered how much they would be the same and how much of an effort I'd have to m The world is fascinated with, if not a little creeped out by identical twins. I wondered how much they would be the same and how much of an effort I'd have to make to ensure that their differences were recognized and celebrated. This book addresses all those issues.
It is written by an identical twin about all aspects of identical twinship. There are examples of the twins who always dress alike and live together, well into adulthood - and there are the examples of the twins who move apart and get married, but always retain their close bond. In between there are the tragic stories of twins lost, of the brutal competition and ever-ending comparisons, of the fight to be an individual, and the constant push and pull of one twin who wants to break apart while the other is fighting to stay together.
I appreciated the breadth of subject matter in this book - and of course, the first-hand perspective and honesty of the author. A very interesting read that I will probably come back to as my girls continue to grow and figure out their own relationships with each other and the world around them. This is a really great book for people wanting to know more about twins. It could be for twins or people who are trying to understand the relationship of twins that are in their life whether parent or friend.
I think this is a great coming of age book for any twin and I am glad that I read this as a Junior because it is very important in thinking about colleges and futures either separate or together. In this book, Abigail, the author who is also a twin, goes in depth about all the research and This is a really great book for people wanting to know more about twins.
In this book, Abigail, the author who is also a twin, goes in depth about all the research and studies about twin relationships all while analyzing her own relationship with her own twin. She also has tons of interviews of different experiences of different pairs of twins. She does not tell you what to think about the information but just says it plain, how it is.
Through the interviews and personal stories she is able to make it lively and story like, not just another non-fiction book. It could be slow at times but overall I really liked it because I like what it made me realize about my relationship with my twin and also made separating for college maybe not so bad?
- ONE AND THE SAME | meaning in the Cambridge English Dictionary.
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This is a definite read for anyone interested in twins. Feb 05, Sadie rated it it was amazing Shelves: , mom-reading-challenge , non-fiction. I loved this book. Especially the chapter called Twin Shock It described perfectly the roller-coaster of having newborn twins home, some of the issues with prematurity and the guilt of having a hard time with it all despite the babies being so wanted.
One of my favorite lines, "Premature babies are small, not social, not nice. They do not smile so soon as others and it's hard to interact with them. They don't know how to give cues to the environment like a full-term baby when they are hungr I loved this book. They don't know how to give cues to the environment like a full-term baby when they are hungry or they are wet.
And the whole day they are crying. The couple have ow become parents early- earlier than they prepared themselves Not only that they are saying to themselves, 'Even this-the birth itself-we couldn't do normally. And about a million other things in this chapter. Great book I read it in one sitting. Jun 01, Jack rated it it was amazing.
one and the same
I'm almost done listening to this book, and I've found it difficult to take my headphones off when I need to. My only wish is that the author herself had narrated the audio book. This book is beautifully, candidly written, and it examines all kinds of perspectives even her own. I'm interested in the form - part memoir, part journalistic exploration - and would love to see how it's presented in page format.
Between the case studies are conversations between Abigail and her twin Robin that are fr I'm almost done listening to this book, and I've found it difficult to take my headphones off when I need to. Between the case studies are conversations between Abigail and her twin Robin that are frankly fascinating. I'm a bit biased here as a parent of identical twin 1 year olds! I was hoping to learn about the identical twin experience, as well as some practical tips for how to be more sensitive to their upcoming unique childhood. I came away feeling relatively satisfied in both, as Pogrebin did a good job of mixing science with storytelling as she outlined the unusual world of identical twins.
That said, perhaps because I'm a parent of identical twins, I was hoping for a bit more pragmatic learnings, and I'm a bit biased here as a parent of identical twin 1 year olds! That said, perhaps because I'm a parent of identical twins, I was hoping for a bit more pragmatic learnings, and a bit less deep storytelling, hence only 3 stars. Still, I'm really thankful for the book, and enjoyed it! May 28, Kate Stericker rated it liked it Shelves: genre-non-fiction , war-stories , weekly-reading-challenge. In general, this book is a very interesting exploration of the lives of twins which incorporates a wide range of perspectives.
I felt the section about the Farleys could have been handled much better than it was; Pogrebin explicitly asserts that Clair Farley "went so far as to become a woman to differentiate himself from his twin" when Clair openly contradicts this characterization of her transgender identity in her interview with Pogrebin and prefers female pronouns, which are used inconsisten In general, this book is a very interesting exploration of the lives of twins which incorporates a wide range of perspectives.
I felt the section about the Farleys could have been handled much better than it was; Pogrebin explicitly asserts that Clair Farley "went so far as to become a woman to differentiate himself from his twin" when Clair openly contradicts this characterization of her transgender identity in her interview with Pogrebin and prefers female pronouns, which are used inconsistently throughout the section. Mar 08, Skylar Hatfield rated it liked it. I gave this book three stars, not because it was poorly written or researched, but because I never fully engaged with the topic. Reader's error not writer's error.
I hope what I read will inform me when I am teaching children who are twins or should I ever have a friend who is a twin. Mar 15, Kami rated it really liked it Shelves: auto-biography , informational , non-fiction , parenting. A fascinating book on identical twins. Jun 14, Katie rated it liked it Shelves: how-others-live. Solid 3. Well-written, interesting. Oct 08, Jon rated it really liked it.
I first learned of One and the Same from the author's blog entry at DoubleX. The text intrigued me enough to go over to Amazon and read a description of the book there. To be fair, the chapter on fertility treatments is more relevant to fraternal twins. But if IVF is your only interest, you can probably just read that chapter. What sold me on the book was the author's quote: My parents could not have been more loving, stimulating, or "modern" in their childrearing, but it literally never occurred to them to spend time with Robin and me separately and that omission backfired at the end of the day.
When I interviewed my mother for my book, and asked her why she and Dad never took us anywhere separately, she looked pained. I should have realized that. But it never occurred to us. Not: 'You come with me and you go with him. My favorite parts were the opening chapter about the Twins Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio, the interviews with Tiki and Ronde Barber, and the author's recollections growing up as a twin.
The Twinsburg chapter reads like a fun, goofy travelogue exploring the twee-er aspects of twinning. I don't expect we'll ever go, but it's a good reminder of what cultural niches exist for twins and their parents. The personal accounts of growing up a twin were interesting to read, and helped me see things from the perspective of the twin child rather than the parent, unlike most of the other books I've read which focus on the parent's point of view. While these sections are undoubtedly revealing for twins trying to understand their own identity or the role of twins in society, they are not something a future parent of twins wants to read.
I would have liked to rate it higher, but the parts I had to scan and skip dragged it down. Aug 18, Trena rated it liked it. I am fascinated by and a little bit scared of twins. They have their own language and relate to one another in a way inaccessible to us singletons, or so it seems at any rate. Pogrebin, an identical twin, confronts this idea from various angles. This book has its flaws.
The author comes to the subject with a strong prejudice. I mean, obviously, she is a twin, but she also feels that the twin magic is real and overridingly important, so perhaps there is some confirmation bias in the information sh I am fascinated by and a little bit scared of twins. I mean, obviously, she is a twin, but she also feels that the twin magic is real and overridingly important, so perhaps there is some confirmation bias in the information she chose to present.
That said, it does contain interesting tidbits, bringing it to the 3 star level. Given my interest in science and medicine, the discussion of epigenetics was fascinating. Looking into the reasons one twin gets a chronic disease and the other doesn't have given such as insights as that multiple sclerosis is more likely to affect the more fastidiously clean twin. The section on dealing with a twin's death was also very well done and very, very sad.
The most interesting was her takeaway from the studies of identical twins reared apart. I'd read about the studies before, and thought it was sort of a novelty that they end up so similar. But her point should be reassuring to every parent out there: provide a basically nurturing environment, and your kid will turn out how the kid turns out. The correct usage is "One and the same". A good dictionary or phrase compilation will confirm this.
For example:. Citation: Reference. It is one AND the same. This structure is a compound where "one" and "the same" are conjoined by AND. For instance if I say "John and Mr. Smith are one and the same. Smith are one and John and Mr. Smith are the same. This more bloated way of stating the relationship was appropriately shortened to I think both are correct. One and the same may be an older saying but one in the same makes perfect sense. Since it is commonly used I believe it to be correct.
Thank you for your interest in this question. Because it has attracted low-quality or spam answers that had to be removed, posting an answer now requires 10 reputation on this site the association bonus does not count. Would you like to answer one of these unanswered questions instead? Home Questions Tags Users Unanswered. Ask Question. Which is correct? One in the same A quick google-vote says the former is "correct".